There is no easy way to express my thoughts and feeling so that anyone can understand, so I won't.
Only I know the real problem in my current standing on life. My feelings only mean a lot to me and nobody else just yet. Implying I have never had someone in my life to love, and don't know how much longer I have to wait.
(I miss the internet, I don't have it yet on my computer, I'm using someone else's this time. I have to live without it for a while.)

After getting back, I was glad to be back.
After five days, I feel like shit.

I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing or need to do for the coming weeks, months and the rest of this year.
But whatever I do, I regret nothing.

I can only hope for my courage, confidence, and committment will be enough to move me forward. Other than that, I don't know if I'll survive on my own. I'm truely sorry to everyone I've had an impact on, if anyone at all.

I'm completely lost.